Wishing For the Perfect Body

Too many athletes spend too much time complaining about their bodies:

“I feel too fat” … “I’m too thin.” … “I want a six-pack ab.” … “I hate my spare tire.”

Without a doubt, you will perform better if your body is the correct size for your sport—not too fat, not too skinny. If you have obvious flab to lose, you will be able to run faster if you shed excess flab. If you are scrawny, you will be more powerful if you can build some muscle. Agreed.

This article is geared towards the many athletes who already have an excellent body yet spend too much time wishing for the perfect body. The perfect body is illusive and nearly impossible to attain— at least without tireless effort. Being satisfied with an excellent body is much easier. An excellent body might have a tiny bit more body fat than you want, or be a tiny bit less muscular than desired.

Rather than listen to your own self-criticisms, pay attention to what others say about your body—such as You look great! or Really?—You want to lose weight??? Quite possibly, your teammates are telling the truth when they compliment you or question your desire to lose (unnoticeable) body fat or build even more muscle. Rather than disregarding their comments, file them away on a mental shelf. Also collect negative comments suggesting that your body is indeed “flawed” and put those comments on the “I’m too fat (or too skinny) shelf.” Pay attention to the compliments (or criticisms) accumulate over the course of time.

Believe it or not, you might be the only person who sees your body’s “flaws.” You only see what you see (not what others see) and your eyes have been tainted since childhood. That is, if you were husky as a kid, you may still see yourself as being too fat. On the other hand, if you were scrawny as a kid, you may still see yourself as being too skinny, even though your body has matured and become muscular.

If you are feeling too fat or too thin, please note that “fat” and “thin” are not feelings. They are adjectives. (You do not feel “blue-eyed” or “freckled,” do you?). More likely, you are feeling imperfect, inadequate, anxious ,and out-of-control. Those feelings can easily distract you from what’s really going on: you don’t feel good enough. That is, understandably, a common issue among all athletes, including new members to a team. For example, if you were the star of your high school team, and now are the freshman on your university team, you can easily feel inadequate, anxious, and not good enough. Those feelings are worthy of being addressed with a counselor who can help you rediscover that you and your body are good enough the way you are.

Making Peace with your body

If you are discontent with your current physique, please try to be a bit more compassionate towards your body and appreciate all the good things it does for you. It lets you be a great soccer player, a caring teammate, and a trusted friend. Those are meaningful qualities, and far more valuable than modeling a perfect body.

Rather than take the outside-in approach—if I can change my body from the outside by losing fat or by building muscle, I will be happier—take the inside-out approach, and be grateful for all the good things you like about your body. Recognize that no weight will ever be good enough to do the enormous job of making you happy. Happiness comes from feeling loved and accepted and appreciated, not from a number on the scale.

I encourage you to be curious about where you got the message that something is wrong with your body. Many messages come from our weight-obsessed society. And some messages come from a loving parent who said at a tender age said something like “…if only you'd lose (gain) a few pounds...” What you heard was “I'm not good enough” and this can create a downward spiral of self-esteem. Weight issues are rarely about weight. They tend to be about feeling inadequate and imperfect.

What to do:

So how can you, a discontent athlete, feel better about your body? One tactic is to stop comparing yourself to your peers. To compare is to despair. Rather, pretend you live on an island where your body is excellent the way it is. (You are unlikely to ever have a “perfect” body, so the second best option is to enjoy a body that is excellent, or at least good enough.) If you step off your island and start comparing yourself to your peers, please notice: Do you end up being too fat, too slow, too ugly, too dumb? Do you ever let yourself rise to the top and be better than others? Doubtful.

Your best bet is to stay on your island, and practice calling yourself a Gorgeous Goddess or Handsome Hulk. With time, you can change the way you see yourself and come to believe perhaps you and your body are, indeed, good enough the way you are. Life is more enjoyable when you can love your body and appreciate it for all it does and stop hating it for what it is not. When the drive for thinness comes with a high price, that price may not be worth the cost.

Guest Author: Nancy Clark

#wellness #mindbodywoman #mindbodymen #selflove #fitness #dmvfitness